Emptiness , All There Is

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 |

I Don't Know..
Maybe Im just really the emotional type, considering what im going through. This is the first time in 8 years that i will be celebrating Valentines day without somebody. LOL, do i even need to celebrate it?.. My friends say it doesn't matter, not even half of the world enjoys the day, and im part of more than the other half, therefore i may not have somebody, but, i have everyone. LOL whatta consolation..
Honestly, even in the last 8 years, I never remembered spending Valentines day with a Bang.. Talking about luck.. Never had that in my past relationship. Not even a memorable heart warming and feet sweeping Valentines day, what a misfortune.
February 14, fast approaching now, i feel so empty, but i know that deep inside i am extremely lonely. And i know its very shallow, but as each day pass by, i'm getting more and more stressed and i know its showing, i am very irritable now and my patience is down low, im getting tired at simple things , i cant sleep and i feel very sick. Maybe, I am in denial, just trying to be happy when i am truly not, or maybe im trying to cling to the past i am used to, even if i know there wasn't a blissful moment to recall.
Im tired of fearing the holidays, im tired of feeling empty, im so so so tired of being lonely..